Transforming Betrayal Into Self-Empowerment

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Are you ready to free yourself from feeling less-than-loved??

I find myself a bit triggered this morning by an old memory and experience that allowed me to be treated less-than-kindly.

The soul who offered the less-than-kindly energy (a few years ago) was truly not an important soul in my life!!    I wasn’t attached to their presence or purpose.    But……when their blast of unjustified blame touched me…..it awakened the unprocessed pain of all past wounds and betrayals.

I did easily free myself from that less-than-kind experience a few years ago….and I happily moved on with life.

But……I find that this seemingly unimportant soul is now weaving back into my personal circles of Light and support….and I find myself feeling somewhat attacked.

So for clarity’s sake….let’s remember….this soul is only honoring their current journey!!!     Their presence has nothing to do with my anything!!

The belief that I can be harmed, touched, or affected by this soul’s presence is illusion!!     And that illusion only has power because I have accepted that another (any other) has the power to disrespect me, betray me, harm me, or take from me.

The place to heal is within me!!!!

I AM perfectly and whole-ly honored, respected, accepted, and loved in all moments!!!     My perceiving, receiving, or allowing any less-than energy to touch me is a sign that “I” am not feeling perfectly and whole-ly honored, respected, accepted, and loved in all moments!!

The place to heal is within me!!!!

This soul is not responsible for any of the pain or blame I felt or now feel.     Their actions only reflected the energy they felt within…….and it only touched me because I personally aligned with that energy in some way.

A few years ago….during another dance of perceived betrayal…Spirit taught me to envision Lord Siddhartha Buddha as my inspiration.     I thought of how Lord Buddha knew who he was.     He had a confidence and a divine knowing that filled him completely.     Do you believe that if another treated him less-than-kindly….he would allow it to change the way he saw himself or his journey??

Another’s actions can only be a reflection upon themselves!!     It only becomes a reflection upon ourselves when we choose to interact with or participate in that experience!!

Only we are responsible for our own personal energy!!     Another can not betray me……unless I’m asking (expecting) them to be something other than that which they are.

Without judgment…..it is truly beautiful to know that each soul is only honoring that which is best for their own personal journeys!!!!

And as “I” am honoring that which is best for mine…………I find myself excited to know that this illusion no longer has power for me!!!      My each and every emotion….is a reflection of how I see myself!!!

That sounds like self-empowerment to me!!!     Woohoooooooo!!!     Thank you to every loving spirit teacher that has just helped me to see this.    I love you!!! ♥

In Joy and Wide-eyed Empowerment,

Alania

“The enlightened ones shall walk the earth….”

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“In your bravery….you have chosen to walk AS the illuminated master being that you are!!    It is written…”and they will walk among us”.    And so….this is you!!   The enlightened ones shall walk the earth and remind us of our greatest truth…that we hold the potential to create worlds and lifetimes of Peace and Joy!!   We have it within us to BE the source of Light that empowers….and literally powers all life!!    We ARE a source of pure energy!!”

~ Channeled by Alania Starhawk

When we remember…we naturally break down the walls of separation and connect!! 

Time….My Old Dance Partner

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What a bizarre…and often confrontational…relationship we have!!

I have come a long way in learning to balance and harmonize myself in relationship to Time and its power over me (as revealed in my highly expressive post Time ~ and his hold on me!!).

I now recognize when I irrationally push myself against a giant clock that has no existence…and I rarely allow myself to get entangled in the complicated web of self-imposed deadlines that I once fostered.

But……….I just recently noticed that I still see Master Time as an opposition to my journey.     I seem to allow Time to soar by in copious amounts…without noticing that it has passed.     I often limit that which I schedule in any week or month….because I subconsciously believe that I won’t have enough “time”.     

Although my drastic challenges with Time are in the past….I realize that I still do not have a healthy view of how Time can support and assist me.

There’s a part of me that is still seeking to gently “survive” my dance with Master Time.

How useless is that belief???

If Time is not real…and has no true value…how can it ever limit me or take from me???

There is nothing to “survive”!!!

There is only LIFE to LIVE!!!

Time is a man-made measurement….designed to reflect our efforts and experiences within a box of expectation.

We expect that it is appropriate to sleep during the mid-night hours.      We expect that we should be reading short stories by 6 or 7 years old.    We expect that is necessary to have all our finances aligned by the end of the month.

We have allowed Time to take on acceptable characteristics that guide us on our journey.     And “I” have allowed Time to silently tell me where i should be in each moment.

How senseless is that??

So……today I shall remind myself that LIFE is a beautiful Journey!!!     Life is a natural expression of personal passion, creativity, and Love!!      I shall endeavor to BE all that I am inwardly guided to BE in each moment….without pressure, expectation, or limitation!!!

I shall endeavor to be the Master of my own Journey…..and leave Time to be conceptual proof that we always have a choice in how we spend our days!!!!

Once again my dear friend I must claim:

“You have no hold on me!!”

In Joy and Infinitely-flowing LOVE,

Alania

Sweet Anticipation…

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Dear Spirit……….Pure GRATITUDE flows through me in great waves this evening!!    I can not see that which is about to reveal itself…………..but it feels wondrous!!

What a blessing that is!!     For too many evenings in this life have been filled with concern and weariness.    So…….on this non-descript…but truly empowering evening…I scream “THANK YOU”!!!!

Is it true??   Can it be that you’re about to gift my world with something extraordinary and transformative???

I welcome these blessings!!    With open heart and arms……….I welcome all that will bring great love and joy into my life!!!

Let this precious early morn (nearly 1am now)…….bring the DAWN of a brand new day!!!  

In sweet blissful anticipation…I WELCOME THE GIFT OF NEW BEGINNINGS and BRIGHT BLESSINGS!!! ♥

In JOY and GRATITUDE,

Alania

Emotional Clearing……On Energetic Levels

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Wowwww!!   How real emotional reminders and memories can be!!

I was recently gifted an opportunity to journey through my chakra points in tune to music.     The exercise was designed to let us energetically feel the power and flow of each chakra (major energy centers within the body).

I was fully caught unaware when the music shifted and my energy rose to the Heart Chakra.     I was so looking forward to joyfully feeling the LOVE flow passionately through.     But I couldn’t sense the Love that is so much a part of who I am.    In that moment…only sadness and pain filled my soul.    

With breathwork and prayer I tried to clear that blocked energy….so the joyful Love could flow.    But this sadness and pain was deeply rooted.     So I accepted the gift of Awareness in that chakra…and looked forward to the shifting music that would elevate our focus to the next chakra point.

In perfect time….we shifted our attention to the Throat Chakra.     While envisioning my power-filled voice carrying far and wide……..I awakened a great big wave of anger within me!!!  

Really?!?!    Now…when I should be joyfully envisioning my voice flowing free and strong….genuine anger is rising within me!?!?    I could see the crowd of countless souls throughout time who did not recognize, appreciate, or honor the beauty and light that I am.

In each of those challenged moments…the desire to withdraw, hide, and cocoon myself was overwhelming.    It was bravery to simply stand strong.

But the energy once again shifted…and by the time we reached the energy of the crown chakra I was celebrating my life once again.

Here’s the curious part.      Once the exercise was complete….I was grounded in my current truth…but the memories of that pain and injustice was still present and real.   I was feeling greatly impacted by the power of those emotions.

So I stood beneath the Full Moon last night and welcomed guidance.    Grandmother Moon was very clear.    She asked “Do you wish to release and clear the beliefs and energies that evoke these emotions??”

I answered “YES” immediately….and she responded “Then that is enough.    You are not alone in this.”

I walked away feeling saved…but discovered something even more curious about my self throughout the night.

You see……..I never realized that deep emotions and memories can sometimes intoxicate us.    They sometimes trap us in an illusion that comforts us……although that comfort is triggered through pain.  

I can now see that we sometimes cling to the sadness, pain, anger because it is a connection point to the people or experiences we once loved.     To make it clear……….the memories place me right back in the moments that created those patterns.     And those moments are a connection point to the good memories too.    They are all linked.

So it is very difficult to genuinely wish to “release and clear the beliefs and energies that evoke those emotions”.       We feel as though we are closing the door on all the good and beauty too.

This morning I sit in Awareness.     A part of me wishes to delve more deeply into the memories…so that I can recall some of the beauty.      But I am certainly aware enough to know that pain, sadness, and anger is not a healthy route to freedom and love!!! ♥      

So today I remember beautiful Grandmother Moon’s words.      Today I choose to clear and release…..knowing that once I am free of illusion and thoughts of separation….there will be only beautiful memories to recall!!!

It’s time to free myself from the negative perceptions of these experiences and memories……….not the experiences and memories themselves!!!!!

Dear Spirit…..THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY TO HEAL!!!! ♥    

I Accept and Trust This Beautiful Journey!!!

And Thank YOU to the ever-radiant Kim Kennedy who lovingly provided this opportunity to heal!!!    Her JOURNEY INTO SOUL events are thought-provoking, knowledge-filled, and soulfully-inspirational!!!!     I am forever blessed by this experience!!

In Joy and Gratitude for ALL that Is,

Alania

Re-claiming MY Ancient S-t-u-f-f

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Amazingly….Perspective shifts everything!! ♥

I will honestly reveal that over these last few days… when I think of my father (who transitioned into beautiful Light two years ago)…I am naturally recalling many of the irritating, less-than-loving quirks he was known for.

The memory always comes through with laughter…but beneath I do sense deep frustration within my being too.    There’s a deeper part of me that can’t seem to find Peace with all of his choices and behaviors….even though I wish to see the best.

Soooooo…Spirit saw a great big opportunity to help me HEAL in dream state once again.  (((Smile)))

Within my deep dream state last night….my Dad drove up to where I was…with a big ol’ pick up truck and trailer.     It was over-filled with all of my stuff!!    It appeared to be all that I had piled up and stored in his garage and basement over the years.    And in this single moment….he wanted to be free of it.  

This spontaneous irrational behavior was certainly an aspect of his earth-persona…so I was processing this dream experience through all of my patterned earth-traits too.

He simply drove up and said “Take your stuff back!!    I don’t care where it goes.   It’s yours.”  

I easily recognize all as being mine…but most items were my antiques and treasured finds from over the years.     I began imagining where I would put them for now.    As I peeked around for options…Dad left my view and I began finding items that belong to me everywhere I turned!!!

How did I not notice that so many people had mis-appropriated my stuff??    I began re-claiming items and finds…whether they were valuable or not.    I was filled with integrity as I genuinely retrieved only that which was mine.  

This went on and on…and I then began focusing on needing boxes and rolling racks to carry all.    That’s when I WOKE UP!! ♥

While in dream state (for half the night)…I felt disrespected, intruded upon, unappreciated, and victimized.    I sensed all of these emotions…and was totally re-directed from the beautiful abundant life I have now!!

Within moments of waking up…and processing this dream from Awareness…I realized that all of my stuff was old, un-needed antiques!!    Nothing at all was of value for this moment.    All was part of an ancient me.

And instantly I realized “Take your stuff back!!” meant….I won’t harbor YOUR stuff any longer!!    Dad will no longer take responsibility for MY reactions, beliefs, or perceptions.    It’s time to take ownership of MY OWN disappointments and mis-perceptions.

Dad and I certainly had a score of past-lives together.    We pushed each others buttons like no one else could…and we understood each other too…like no one else could.

Perhaps I didn’t always see from the highest perspective throughout our relationship.    Maybe I could only see through MY self-serving interpretation.     Maybe…valid or not…all of my ancient views, beliefs, perceptions need to be CLEARED in order for me to begin seeing his beauty and our relationship through new eyes!!!

Seeing those flat-beds full of ancient things….makes me realize how DEEP my patterned beliefs go.    It’s time to begin praying for CLARITY and TRUTH.     It’s time to begin clearing the OLD….and welcoming the NEW!!!

I pray that Wisdom, Love, Forgiveness (of self and others), and Healing Light accompany me on this journey of new discovery.    May I learn to see Dad in greater TRUTH. ♥

And….to finish up the tale…let me express that all I was re-claiming from others throughout the dream…were ancient items too.    I was re-claiming them from people, places, and relationships that felt less-than-loving and supportive in my life.     So…I do know and understand that this is much greater than Dad.     This is about shifting the way I “believe another can hurt, disappoint, or affect me”.

Dad is only my TEACHER………once again. ♥

Thank YOU Dad!!

As we run around Disney today (we happen to heading to Disney today)………you’ll be with us in all ways!!    We Love You!!!

In Joy and Awareness,

Alania

Two Great Loves…

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Yes!!   I’ve had two great, reality-bending Loves in my life!!

Both experiences lifted my spirit beyond the physical to spiral in the blissful wonder that LIFE can be!!    And…both experiences gifted me with a colossal MIRROR of SELF to immerse myself in…once they came to an end.

And although that Mirror was fogged for a respective time in each journey….the FOG eventually cleared and brought through the radiance of my own precious SELF because of these journeys!!

In short…no part of each journey was a mistake!!      No choice was less than perfect!!

The first Love took my breath away!!    It washed the world away from my periphery….and only allowed me to register Life through the gateway of that Love.     That Love became my breath…and my power.     Without recognizing it…it became my security, my identity, and my life.

So….when it was suddenly taken from my world…all sense of trusted-reality went with it.     I was left with only my seemingly empty Self…and a FIRE that blindly pushed me forward in each moment.      That tale of awakening is beyond powerful and awe-inspiring…but not a topic for today. ♥

Denial and fruitless questioning was all I knew for a quite a bit…until I began to build a new foundation for myself!!     The wonder of Life and its beauty filled me once again…and my focus stayed on the positive, on the new, and on the blessings that surrounded me.

After what had seemed like an eternity….I found mySELF!!!

And without that journey to push me forward, to see with new eyes, to explore my inner depths…I never would have found her at all. ♥     Each moment of bliss…and each moment of pain was an intricate part of my journey!!    I honor them all.

And so…with awareness I welcomed a new Love into my life.      I envisioned every aspect…manifested every magical element…and was prepared for the wonder that would present itself!!

After months of knowing his Spirit on the higher realms…he walked into my life…and lit that eternal flame within once again!!

This Love broke all barriers of limitation.    It manifest pure Sacred Light in the here and now.    It caused the cosmos to shake…and the Masters of all time to appear and converse!!

My physical self was non-existent.   In this Love I knew only eternity, only limitlessness, and only bliss.

The universe supported that love…and celebrated it in wondrous ways.

But…as the fog began to clear…I recognized that this Love only existed on the higher realms!!    That may be difficult for you to comprehend.     But it is true!!

With this Love I maintained awareness through it all.    Without judgment…I was honest with myself in all moments…and could suddenly see that I was in Love with his Spirit, his Soul, his timeless Self!!     But that precious part of him…was not all of him.

In a wave of true and pure Love…I stepped free…and was faced with the MIRROR of SELF once again.

Was I blinded??    Did I manipulate the natural flow??    Was I in an altered state throughout that experience??

Although I knew the answer…it took me a while to be at PEACE with the answer.    The self-doubt…though silent and unseen…still remained until just recently.

When I least expected it…and when I certainly wasn’t looking for it…I felt Spirit’s presence near me and the words reverberate through me:

“Two Great Loves.   And no moment was less than perfect!!”

I didn’t know it.   But those were the words I needed to hear.   A great PEACE now fills me…and I know that I AM the one who has welcomed this new level of healing, understanding, and being!!      I suddenly know that I AM the one ready to free myself from all less-than-loving perspectives and beliefs.

It’s time to remember that my journey is much much greater than only that which has been.    I sense this moment…and all future moments…suddenly holding much more power and purpose than those now passed.    I feel FREEEEEEEEEEE…..and ready to Love in much greater ways than that which I’ve known.

So I shift my awareness to that which now appears.     I look forward to the beauty and blessings flowing to me here and now.

To the beautiful brother who presents himself in each of my powerful visions…I WELCOME YOU!!    Our souls are already at home in one another’s embrace.    Why wait another day??     If you can sense the beating of my heart from your current stance…then we are already ONE.    Break down the barriers of limitation…and find your way HOME.

Whewwwwww.    Can’t say it more clear than that.

At times I wonder why I allow myself to be so raw and revealed in these blog posts.    And then I realize…how can I not??    I’ve spent lifetimes hiding in the shadows……and regardless of what comes….free expression is truly my greatest gift!!      I hold no fear….only Love.

In JOY and Ever-expansive Faith,

Alania